Voice of an Autism Mom: Experience, Faith, and Perspective

Being an autism parent, we need all the faith, strength, and positivity we can get.

Being an autism parent is like a test you cannot pass or fail, but you also cannot study for. It is often said that when you become a parent, kids do not come with an instruction manual. Being an autism parent feels like a double surprise, because you do not even know you are one until your child gets older and developmental delays start to appear—something you never expected.

I found out I was an autism mom when I noticed our one-year-old daughter did not respond to her name and would cross her fingers a lot. Me being the curious mother I am, I started Googling some of her behaviors. The first thing I saw was autism.

At that time, I started bringing up her delays to her pediatrician. Her pediatrician did not want to rush a diagnosis, but by 15 months, our daughter still did not respond to her name, and that is when the process started.

I remember thinking, when she was born, there was no warning for autism. Even after all the tests they give pregnant women, there is none for autism. There is no manual. There is no knowing.

Once you enter the autism world, you start learning about the spectrum and levels. You are trying to raise your child while also trying to figure out where they fall on that spectrum—which honestly, you cannot always pinpoint.

And do not try to compare your child to others, because it is a spectrum. Different levels, different traits, different challenges.

You can read all the books and articles, but honestly, no expert can pinpoint your child’s exact level because they do not live with them.

As an autism mother, my child has some traits but not others. Some of her traits and symptoms she has even grown out of, like eloping, which she stopped around age five. Some kids grow out of certain things, and some do not.

Remember—it is a spectrum.

There is also the conversation about autism showing up differently in girls than in boys. I have heard that a lot. I only have a girl, so I am no expert on that, but from what I have observed from other children, I do think it is possible.

Being an autism parent, I have also observed how the spectrum affects parents in different ways.

Autism is a touchy subject, and every parent carries it differently. I belong to a Facebook group for autism parents, and I see so many emotions.

Some parents are having such a hard time they are carrying deep pain and sorrow. Some seem bitter and angry. Others strive to stay positive and are very intentional about holding onto faith—but I know they are still struggling too.

Because there are levels to autism, some parents have children with easier challenges, some with harder ones, and many somewhere in between.

It also seems like “levels” has become the newer, less offensive term. In the autism community, we used to hear “high functioning” and “low functioning,” and honestly, some people still use those terms.

My daughter is easier going. A lot of the challenges she had, she grew out of. But do not get it wrong—we still struggle.

What helped me most was choosing to look at it from a positive perspective.

I use the phrase, “God chose me.”

Because I believe God does not give us more than we can handle.

Yes, I know for some parents that can sound dismissive of the struggle, and many people feel saying that minimizes what they are going through. I understand that.

But there are also parents like me who, no matter the struggle, choose to look at it through faith.

I personally say it to stay intentional. To keep faith through the struggle.

But I also say it because, as a child, I struggled with ADHD myself. A lot of my own challenges shaped how I approached decisions with our daughter.

I feel like God had already prepared me for some of this because I came from this world myself.

So over time, I grew to feel like God chose me—not to make it easy, but to help me see it differently, with faith, patience, and purpose.